A Phone Call, Parents Weekend, and a Vampire

The whole gang all dressed up for the Murder Mystery. Everyone looked great!

Rachelle and I being Robin O'Negative

Rachelle and I being Robin O'Positive

This week has been absolutely crazy....
~Pops, my grandpa, was in the hospital after another seizure and fall. He damaged his spinal cord and had to have surgery. This was such an emotional experience for all of us. It was very scary, the unknown always is, yet there were some positive things that came from it. I was able to spend the entire day with my mom, I got to see Pops a lot, and we were all reminded that when you love someone its important that you let them know. He is now recovering, and although he is in a lot of pain, he made the right decision to have the surgery, and as everything in life, he is in the Lords hands.

~I realised this week that I love having a roommate. I haven't shared a room with anyone for a long time so I was worried that I would have a hard time with that when I lived here, but I have loved it. Wednesday night Rachelle and I were up till three, just laying in bed talking. Its so nice to have someone you can trust and who loves you for being you to be with here! So Rachelle-thanks for listening, for not being angry, for giggling with me, and for just listening! Who knew talking about boys could be quiet so fun!

~My mom and dad came down to Provo this weekend. It was BYU's official parents weekend, but we kind of did our own thing, which I liked much better. Friday they came and we went to lunch, walked around campus, went shopping!!! and went and had a delicious dinner. I really loved spending time with just them. We are all so busy, and life is so crazy, but it was good to just hang out with them for a while. On Saturday they came back down and we went to the football game. It was so much fun! They are such awesome parents and lately I've really realised how lucky I am to have the parents I have, and how lucky I am to live so close to them.

~Denny's, 12:00-2:30 AM, a car full of people, "do you want to take a picture with me? do you want to kiss my cheek in the picture?", french toast, forgotten <3>

~Last night some girls and guys in my ward and I all had this little dinner murder mystery party. It was so much fun getting to know them all better, and trying to figure out who the vampire was! I originally wasn't going to be able to come, but decided to come. There were only so many characters though so Rachelle and I just decided to combine and come as the same character, Robin O'Positive. It was a blast and I'm so glad I went!

~A few more random things: A picture scavenger hunt for FHE, a phone call that changed a lot, shopping for a "cozy sweatsuit" with Karissa, class, visting teaching for the first real time, studying, and flowering my walls!

What a week! So much has happened! This week taught me a lot, but mostly I learned that even when things don't turn out like you want or hope things can still be GREAT. I'm learning that in the end, we get whats best for us, even if its not necessarily what we want, and that what we end up with might be even better than we even dreamed of...

Feelings Show...

I feel... weird. I don't know how to explain what I've been feeling lately, except weird. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, below me there is a deep, dark, cool lake. I'm not afraid to jump into the lake, but I don't jump. Its almost as if I'm waiting for the right wind to come along to help push me into it. The fall will be long, but go quickly, and then as I reach the water everything will change. I've felt this way for a week. I've constantly felt like something huge is coming, and I'm here, just by myself waiting. I haven't figured out whether this thing thats coming is good or bad, but I feel certain that it will change me and my life in a huge way. As I've gone about the past week I've had this little fear, that whatever is coming will be here soon, and how am I spending my last naive moments on the cliff? My family went to California this past weekend, and certain commitments to friends had me staying at home without my family. As I walked around the house, in the empty rooms, and drove places, by myself, the feeling of standing on the cliff increased. I've done a lot to try to prepare for this jump. I've tried to get rid of the feeling, and dismiss it as nothing. I've tried talking to others in hope that they would tell me I'm crazy for feeling this way. I've been to my places of peace, and where I feel most comfortable, but the feeling is always there. I'd like to say that I'm ready to jump now, that I've enjoyed the view from the top of the cliff long enough and that I'm sure that whatever is coming is better than this constant feeling of waiting, but I'm not ready, and in fact I'm not sure I will ever be ready. I think when the time to jump comes I will be as unready as ever, but the little wind I've been waiting for will give a gentle push, but I will place my feet out and jump, putting my trust in the one who sent the help of the wind to guide me through the unknown.

Family Home Evening

Some of us at breakfast at G&G Swain's house! It was delicious! And so so much fun!
My "son" Jordan and I goofing around while carving pumpkins
Jake(dad), Sam, Me, Jordan, Shelby, Lauren, Jillian, Kristi, and Rachelle.. oh and our pumpkins(Sea Creature, Chimp, Jose and Grandpa Gus)
Having fun while "gutting" the pumpkin
My friend Shelby and I took a break from carving the chimp to take this picture!

I love my calling! I am officially a family home evening assistant coordinator, or something like that, but I just go by mom. At first I thought that it would be weird to have this calling, but I'm learning that it is SO fun, and that in a weird way its preparing me for motherhood. In our family we have 8 guys, and 6 girls including me and "dad". Lately we have had lots of fun activities! We have played catch phrase, learned about missionary work, played boys vs girls Disney Scene It (and thanks to the awesome girls in my family, I still have never lost at that game!), had breakfast at "grandma and grandpa's house" and tonight we carved pumpkins! I love my "family" and look forward to home evening every Monday night! I couldn't ask for a better family away from my family!

Some days...

Some days I just miss being home. I miss coming in from the fall cold to my warm house. The warmth not just literal but figurative, like a hug, after being away for awhile. The lights all on, the heater blasting, and everyone laughing. I miss coming home late at night, where everything is still, except my mom who fell asleep waiting for me on the couch. I miss driving up the long, twisting road, to my favorite secret place of peace where I'm literally talking with an angel. I miss reading books on the couch in the late afternoon and falling asleep as the last bits of sun creeps through the windows. I miss the feeling of confidence, love and self-assurance that come from being there, where I can be myself and always have that be good enough, appreciated, and enjoyed. I miss home.

80s Night!

Rachelle and I all dressed up! Notice my cute shoes, they didn't last long... my poor feet!
Not really sure how 80s it all was, but it was SO much fun!
Crazy Roommates
I love these girls! I seriously have the best girls in my ward ever!!
This was such a fun night! I'm so glad that Rachelle made me come!





I'm learning that college is a lot more than tests, books, essays, and notes. It is actually a ton of fun!! For example: Where else in the world are you going to find a bunch of freshman girls randomly dressed up as if from the 80s crash a ward dance full of college seniors?! (Oh, and for the record, the leaders of that ward, assuming we were actually in that ward, loved us and took like a million pictures of us, which I can imagine will be on some ward website or bulletin board as an example of how to make ward activities more fun) When the girls in my ward said they were going to dress up, just to dress up and walk around I thought they were crazy. After some encouraging from Rachelle, and some help putting together an outfit from my new friends, we were all set. After taking millions of pictures we headed around campus, eventually found some dance and partied it up! It was seriously the most fun I have had since moving here! Thanks for letting me get a little crazy girls! I loved it!