Happy Christmas

Last December I spent a Sunday morning wandering through a beautiful art gallery. It is not my usual Sunday morning activity, but as I wandered through this famous, usually packed space the quiet, and emptiness spoke to me. I had a spiritual experience as I came upon a painting of the Christ child, being looked upon and adored by his mother.

I think I've seen every nativity ever made before (and half of them are in our living room), however this particular representation of a mother adoring her child, and her savior spoke to me in a way none other had before. It showed a mother overjoyed at having a child, and in awe of who her child was, and what he would do.

Before I'd never really thought at the joy Mary must have felt when she became a mother. Everyone mentions how intimidating, hard, or overwhelming it would be to realize you are the mother of Christ. However, there must also have been great joy. She had our Heavenly Father on her side, like no other mother before or since. She had a knowledge of what was to come. She knew that there was great reason to rejoice in the birth of this son, because of who he was, and what he would do for the world.
About the hope he would bring to it.

I've been thinking a lot about hope the past weeks. About what it really means and about the role it plays in my own life. I think President Uchtdorf spoke of hope best when he spoke in General Conference a few years back:

"Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness"

"Hope is a gift of the Spirit. It is a hope that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the power of His Resurrection we shall be raised unto life eternal and this because of the faith in our Savior."

"(Hope) is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance."

"There may be times when we must make a courageous decision to hope even when everything around us contradicts this hope... Hope teaches that there is reason to rejoice even when all seems dark around us."

And I think that this hope, bringing happiness and rejoicing, is really what Christmas is all about.

"Florence"

Indirectly, I always wanted to go to Florence because of my you Mom. Because you grew me up on love, chocolate, laughter, and While You Were Sleeping.

And one day just a few months ago, I boarded a train and watched the Tuscan sun set on the passing towns as I approached that destination we'd only dreamed of... Florence.

I thought a lot about you on that train ride. It was bittersweet for me. I felt a twinge of guilt knowing that I got to go to this adventurous destination before you. But outweighing the guilt was an overpowering sense of gratitude. I knew that there was no way I would be sitting where I was speeding off to a new and exciting city, had it not been for you and Dad.

I wouldn't have had the courage to go, had you not taught me faith through your daily example.

I wouldn't have had the desire, had you not taught me to love others, and adventure, with such passion.

I wouldn't have had the dream, had you not told me from my infancy that I was capable of greatness.

I wouldn't have had the patience, had you not quietly taught me to improve in this area of weakness of mine.

I wouldn't have had the joy, had you not taught me to recognize beauty in all it's forms.

I wouldn't have had that spiritual moment in the Uffizi had you not taught me about the pure love of mothers, and of our Savior Jesus Christ.

I wouldn't have learned and cherished that experience so much, had it not been for you.

You were in my every thought, prayer and laugh. I thought of you as I took in the deep greens of the buildings, how you would marvel in the quaint cobblestone streets, how you would have stopped to ponder in awe and tears with me at the Uffizi and how you would have relished the emptiness of it on that December morning. I thought of you as I sampled cheeses and jams at the Sunday morning market, knowing you would love to try them all with me. I thought of you as I perused the shops along the bridge, and took in that stunning sunset from the park.

I've never told her this before, but you were in Florence that week, for you are in all that I was.

And it wasn't just Florence. You're in all that I do and everywhere I go, for you created me. You not only physically made me, but molded me day in and day out through my youth and into the young woman that I am today. Everything great that I have, that I've seen, that I've been and will be, I owe in part to you.

I just want to say thank you, for all you've given, and all I know you'll continue to give to me. I know that no gift I give could compare to all you've given to me, and I think the best gift I could give in return is to live my life in way that is righteous, in a way that will make you proud.

Well that and this post.