A Letter to my 7 Year Old Self on my 21st Birthday

(Today I'm taking a cue from my friend, who in the blogging world goes by Sera. I adore her, and when I saw her letter posted on her blog I melted. So, here is my shot at at it)

7 Year old Nicole,

Yes, you will indeed make it to 21, although sometimes when you drove it was questionable.

Your 21st birthday will be great, as will all the others in between. Your 16th was especially great-don't stress about it at all... it'll be the best.

When grandma gives you a gift question her about it more. Ask how grandpa paid for it? Was she surprised? How long had they been dating?

When your afraid to put yourself out there, just smile. Always fake that smile, and pretty soon it'll be real.

Defend your sisters till the end. They will still be your best friends in 14 years, and I'm guessing 14 more after that, and 14 more after that, and so on.

When your living very far from home, completely broke, about to sleep on a disgusting airport floor and your best friend is mean to you just break down and cry. It won't change the situation at all, but you'll never feel more love for your parents as you do when they're sitting on the end of a computer listening to you bawl your eyes out thousands of miles away. However, no matter how serious you maybe about changing your flight and heading home that very day-don't do it!!!! That next week you spend in yet another country will be one of the greatest of your life. And, you'll be home before you know it.

Yes, another country. You know what-for a little while you'll have the opportunity to call a city and country that you've always dreamed of visiting "home" Take it all in, enjoy the mundane and write to your family often.

His name is Jose. I know this doesn't make sense right now, but know this, and don't forget it. Really.

Right now, go over to Pop's and sit on the couch drink juice and eat croutons and ask him to sing the song about the wooden Indian, and tell you about dead ed.

Now, that your back... yes I was very serious about the "right now". The fact that you can do that right now is the beautiful part.

You probably don't want to hear this but mom and dad usually know what they're talking about.

You'll always love football. Some things never change. What does change is that instead of feeling like an outcast because the other girls don't when your 21 you'll feel very cool... because the boys appreciate it. (also your ncaa brackets that rock-they'll definitely appreciate that one too)

Jump in the fountain. You wont get deported :)

Stay close to your cousins-they're pretty great. And it would be really lame if you weren't friends with them for a few years and then just when you became close one decided to leave for a year and a half...

And finally on the day you turn 21 you'll still feel very uncertain about many things in your life and as much as it may kill you to admit this, there will still be lots and lots that you don't know. But guess what- You'll still be very, very happy.

-21 Year old Nicole

Day One isn't even half over...

Tied... 25 seconds left. My bracket rooting for Kentucky.

I take a deep breath as they dribble back and forth, running down the shot clock.

Finally, after what seems like ages he moves in, to the basket.

He shoots, the ball flies through the air and then you see and hear that sound that only signals victory

'Swoosh'

I exhale and Kentucky wins.

There is something beautiful about 20 year old boys playing for the love of the game, a nation riveted to the same games cheering for teams they normally wouldn't think about (Morehead... anyone?) and students across the country passing their hours in class with their laptops and iphones on cbs.com, and sharing the scores in hushed whispers.

(why do professors even try?)

I believe in the power of march madness.

March Madness

calc midterm=2.5 hours in the testing center

ncaa tournament=lovin' my bracket

birthdays=saturday i'll be 21

awkward lunches=hilarious saturdays

daylight savings=sunny, more productive evenings

epidemiology midterm=no sleep

shell's birthday=cute new picture of us

chronic disease midterm=so. much. studying

new testament midterm=rocked it

warm weather=driving with the sunroof down

turning 21 satuday=trip to the dmv

physiology midterm=seriously? 5 tests in 9 days? how did i survive

millions of applications=got a job

cleaning out my saved junk=priceless blackmail

getting a job=staying in provo for summer

playing four square=a strong desire for summer

all of this added together=no time to blog!

(ps. jimmer? i've become quite the fan. only thing i like more about watching byu play-davies in his cute sweaters-watch for it)

"We've Got the Real King James"

That was what my favorite sign I saw at the BYU/Colorado game said. I loved it for two reasons

1-It was kinda funny being a religious institution and all

2-"we don't worship him." really? Then why was that one guy literally bowing after some shots. and "king"... seriously?

Yes, being at a BYU basketball game this week was quite the experience. Not only was I at the game but I was on the 5th row and everything is better down there... well except for the fact that I realized how comparatively short Jimmer is. I did have a nice view of Elder Bednar and Cecil, so that was exciting(are they even not in suits?). And it was a lot of fun trying to figure out what all the little cheers meant. And of course-the basketball was pretty darn good.

There was something shiny and bright about this game though. It wasn't necessarily the countenances of the students (one kid by us said the f word), or the bright lights and flashy music, or even the excitement of a bunch of boys simply playing for the love of the game. No, the bright and shiny was the sweet kicks the team wore for cancer awareness, it was the first time I was envious of basketball shoes!

I had a great time hanging with Lins, and we even got free cake.... 2 days late, but still free cake is always good. I just can't believe we didn't take any pictures! Oh well.

BYU game-5th row-saw Jimmer play... chalk it up as another necessary Provo experience :)

Post Edit.......................................

I feel like an idot. the end.

Thanks Be To Abe, George, and yes, even you Obama

I am so grateful for long weekends, and this past one was no exception. 4 days was the perfect amount of time to get my fill of sandy and provo, study a little, and sleep a lot. By Friday I was in great need of some r&r and I decided all I wanted to do this weekend was chill.

I went home to Sandy where I was, as always when I come home, spoiled. This time with delicious food, lots of laughter, games with the cousins (liars dice? who knew that was so fun!), naps, cuddling with the puppy, movies and sweet tooth fairy cake bites. What could be better?

Saturday my mom Abbie and I headed over to the movies and along with a large dc and those above mentioned cake bites enjoyed this film...

and yes we all loved it. It was amazing. I was speechless (no pun intended). I know it's rated R, and I know that some people may not see it because of that... all I can say is I'm so glad I saw it.(the language was a little strong at parts though...just so you know) And I'm willing to bet $$ that it wins best picture on Sunday. (Anyone else love the Oscars?)

I was really impressed by every one's performance in it, but especially Helena's. Who knew? I mean I always thought she was good at that crazy stuff she usually does, but I had no idea how talented she really is. And Collin? amazing... no surprise there though. I left the theater inspired, and so impressed by what I had just seen.....(and yea, missing England)

Now, I ask, how do you finish a day that started off with such a great movie? Oh some cafe rio, shopping, good friends, and another movie. This one had a little more music, but just as much inspiration...

Although it was a 180 from The King's Speech, I also loved Justin Beiber's Never Say Never. Mock if you must, however I'm convinced that anyone that sees this will gain respect for the kid. It far exceeded my expectations. And the whole 3-D aspect just adds so much to those dramatic hair flips. I have to admit that I kind of fell in love a little bit in this movie-with jaden smith. "no pun intended i was raised by the power of will"

love. and his hair. oh man. what a cutie.

And of course my deep love for usher was only increased. With plenty of family ties, joking around, good music, celeb appearances, and drama (oh no, he is sick??!!) the only thing this movie could have done to improve itself is show usher shirtless.

I'm just sayin.

Stace and I left dancing, literally, and we LOVED rockin the stylish glasses. So glad that this is how we decided to spend our Saturday night.

One Time I Was Nervous

It was my first Sunday in England. I had been there for four days. I was barely adjusting to the 8 hour time difference, the volume of curl my hair began to experience due to the humidity, and I was living in a house with 37 others, most of whose names I couldn't yet remember.

I knew Sundays would be the hard days. The days that I would miss home. And here I was, running late, on a train to "Blackheath" where I was told I would get out and walk up a hill. Those were our instructions. That was it.

We had some problems on the tube, and as such we missed our train. By the time we sat down I was already exhausted from trying to figure it all out. As I sat there making small talk with Sarah and Devri, I watched out the window closely. I said a silent prayer as I contemplated the fact that I was, indeed, living very far from home and very much on my own.

And just after passing over the river, and heading out of the city I saw this out my window:
It became the theme of my semester. It was, in a very direct way, an answer to my prayers a reminder that although on my own, I wasn't nor ever would be, alone.

In my e-mail home that night I wrote:

"Ok there is this awesome building on the way to church and it's old and out of the way. Painted on it it says, "Take Courage" Isn't that my theme for this whole semester? Courage to come out here on my own? Courage to grow up? Courage to try something new? Courage to be content with myself? Courage to make new friends, experience new culture, lead a different life?"

And every week I looked at that building, and the difference courage was making in my life. That first Sunday I had no idea how the courage I gained (and sometimes faked) would change my life. It brought me new friends. I brought me a deep love for the Catford ward, for England, for professors, for girls that became sisters. It brought me experiences I'd never dreamed of (wading into the fountain at the louvre?) It helped me love life, people, the gospel and myself. Something I didn't have the courage to do before.

But this is not just "another London post". I loved London, but I've moved on I promise. Today I love Provo, well-at least my life here. And the reason I love it more than I ever have before is because of one lesson I learned on a train in England:

Take Courage

So, everyday I do just that.

(And tomorrow I'm doing it with my hair! Wish me luck...)

Sometimes You Just Know

Sometimes knowing if something is right or wrong for you makes it easier, usually it makes it pretty hard because then you have to act on that knowledge.

However, not knowing is just as hard. I'm not talking major bad or good things. But simple things that make a big difference in the end. Major? Mission? Job? School? Where to live?

Those kind of things.

Someone I love explained it like this

"I didn't know what I wanted until all of a sudden I knew and then I just knew that I knew."

Yesterday I learned what my phrase is...

"I didn't know what to do, until I knew that in not knowing, I knew."

Confusing, but yet so simple to me. It was my much needed answer to lifes big questions.

So, if you don't know yet trust that its ok, and that if it's important you will know what to do. You'll just know.