Friday, April 30, 2010

This Message is Brought to You By Frogurt

Once upon a time there was a girl...

She was pretty enough, but never really saw that or believed it. (Two years later she would envy her earlier weight and long to fit into those jeans...beside the point though) Not a weekend night passed without some social event or party. She considered many people to be her friends and the most dear she was fiercely loyal to, doing whatever it took to make them happy. She flitted between boys, never leaving herself too much time in between each one-because obviously if no one liked her something must be wrong with her. She believed if a friend had an innocent crush on her boyfriend it was the end of the world and her protective/jealous side resulted in deeply damaged friendships. She was often self-centered, and didn't even remember the name the boy who persistently asked her out. She cared deeply about how others perceived her-and will always remember the feeling of finding one of her SBO posters with a picture of her spit upon and the pain of people believing false rumors about her. She loved her family, and she strived to make them proud through her accomplishments and good grades. More then she wanted to make them proud however, she felt an intense desire to measure up to this bar in her mind that marked all that she should be-and in her eyes she rarely did. She was happy though. And very blessed.

Now she looks like this...
Sure, shes put on a few pounds and learned to embrace the curls but you can see the resemblance right? Well sometimes I hardly can. It's crazy how much this girl has grown up and changed. Now she can't even find a picture of just her to show-every picture she has from the last year is full of friends and family, the important things. She often spends her weekend nights just chatting with her friends, to whom she is still fiercely loyal and loves enough to do anything she can for them. She averages about 2 dates a semester-no more flitting for her. And she is fine with that. She took the time to examine why she flitted and found her deepest insecurities to be the cause. She learned to overcome some, and is still working on the others-a work in progress. She still cares how people perceive her to a degree but more then that she strives to do what makes her happy, and what the Lord desires of her. The rest, she has learned doesn't really matter. She now loves her family even more. Her sisters have become her greatest friends, and her parents her dearest supporters and best source of knowledge. Through painful loss and ache she learned how precious life is, and how important the eternal nature of family relationships really is. Her family is what matters the most and she still tries to make them proud through her grades but more so through becoming a more mature, self-reliant, righteous woman; through progression. Now, she is happy but more than that she is joyful.
Happy is a now and me feeling, while joy is a us and forever feeling. Shes learning to distinguish.
She has important goals and plans for achieving them. She is very, very far from perfect and sometimes she feels there is no hope for her glaring flaws, but she puts her best effort into progression, and becoming who she desires to be.
It is beautiful-progression. And through it this girl will continue to grow. And find joy.
Stace-thanks for Frogurt and our deep conversation. I'm proud of us, for our progression and growing up. Look how far we've come! love ya

Face Lift

Often I see other people's blogs and wish mine were as pretty or nice or great as theirs.... so I give mine a little face lift. So... here it is! ha ha ha enjoy!

PS-I got a new job! Yay for working and making money... sadness for having to. oh well such is life

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Home

I'm sitting on my bed in a pensive mood with my writing play list going. It is time to put these thoughts into words. Time to explain what I'm feeling.

Coming home is a unique experience. It is weird to bring boxes in and claim my space again. This has always been my home, I was just lucky enough to have two homes for awhile. Now I'm back to just the one, the real one, and that is an adjustment.

The other home, the temporary one, was MY home. I recognize and am grateful that it was also home to 5 others who I love dearly, but I spoke of it as mine, saw it as my place. It represented me being on my own. It all had to do with the selfish nature of a college student. I left it when I wanted, I returned to it when I desired; I cleaned it, , I used it as I wanted to, I paid the rent, I called it mine. There are a lot of I's in that explanation, as there should be. College is a selfish time, but not necessarily in a bad way. One should still serve those around them, and the Lord but this times main focus is on one's own progression, education, and becoming. This is the brief time period between childhood and the next step-when the I becomes a we. This is the time period I live in, and perhaps thats why I think so much of that home in terms of me.

This home, my always home, is OUR home. It is not just home to me but also to my four favorite people. We each have our own way of handling situations, accomplishing tasks, and living. These dynamics are always evolving as we individually progress and change. My coming home has changed the dynamics of this home, I recognize that fact. It must be hard for them to have the dynamics they were used to and comfortable with change so suddenly. Just as it is hard for me to have the dynamics of my life do the same. So, it is hard, but good-most good things are hard after all. I'm loving being home, in this "average house with above average amounts of love and laughter". In this place where I am free to be myself without inhibition or worry, where I am surrounded by love and those who believe in me, I am most happy. I hope to provide that for my family too. I hope having me home is just as enjoyable for them.

It just takes some adjusting. So be patient with me please, and I'll try to show you as much love as you constantly extend to me.

On a side note, I'd just like to say how much I love home. Lately I've been focused on the materialistic aspects of our house, and not the home. How different these two things are! So, from here on out I'll try to improve the house as I can, but I will try to add to the home in all that I do. I'm so proud of the home we have, and the house it resides in.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Finally a pause in the craziness...

Finals finally ended. And they went so very well. I've never been more satisfied with how my semester shaped up, and I know that it is not because of my own brain or genius, but by the hand of the lord and hard work. I worked harder then ever before, and because of that I was blessed to do well. I could not be more grateful for that.

After finals ended it was time to pack up and make the move back to Sandy. Packing was horrible-I had no idea I had so much stuff. It is absolutely insane! Cleaning the apartment was even worse then packing but we made it through. I moved back here to my home in Sandy yesterday and ever since I've been crazy busy unpacking and placing my life together here!

I finally have a moment to think. The rush and whirlwind of the last two weeks is finally over. It's finally hitting me that it's summer time, that I'm living in Sandy now, that I won't see my roommates and BYU friends for 8 months and that London is fast approaching.

I'm excited for London. More then that though I'm excited for right now. For summer, for living here, for making new friends and memories.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Good Day or Bad? You Be the Judge

I woke up. Not too early, but I didn't take full advantage of this whole no class business. My day went like this:

Shower
Get ready
Eat breakfast
Study
Take a little break to watch Modern Family
Study
Take a final
Rock said final
Study
Take a final
Rock said final
(no that's not a type-o! wahoo!)
Eat lunch
Study
Chat with Mikhael and Rach
Study
Study
Take a final
Rock said final
Eat dinner
Watch lame-o tv whilst eating dinner
Go to the gym
Shower
Treat myself to a cup cake from HERE
Multitask and watch my 2nd favorite Sandra Bullock movie-While You Were Sleeping
Blog
Study
Sleep!

Good day in my opinion. Productivity-check! Exercise so as to be able to eat this delicious cupcake-check! Chick flick-check! Finishing 3 finals-check! Yay!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Smiles All Around :)

How cute are these boots?
Obviously blogging has been on the back burner lately. Not for a lack of things to say but for a lack of time. Finals are fast approaching, as in tomorrow. I'm hoping to knock three out tomorrow, one Saturday and my last Monday. That way I can spend the rest of my time next week packing, moving, and having some fun! Wish me luck! But I do have lots to share on my blog, and I promise I'll get to it soon. For now here are things that are making me smile :)

*Ebeneezer-as in "Here I raise my Ebeneezer" from Come thou Fount... do you know what it refers to? I do. I'll share later. No time now. Glad I've got you hooked though.

*Also, I've been loving going to the gym. Cardio Cinema=Best thing ever

*Oh, and luckily I've been loving the gym because Rach brought me a little buntlet from Nothing Bunt Cake, and I'm savoring it slowly. What you haven't tried them? They are the most moist cakes ever! Eat them!

*The sunshine has also been making me smile. Big smiles for the sun.


*Roommate dinner with the girls! Who knows how long till we'll all be together again after last week. Dinner last night was much needed.


*My new fingernail polish. It's a tanish/goldish/shiny/matte thing that is exactly what I've been looking for!


*Winning tickets to Earthfest a week from today! I get to see Train perform!!!


*Liberty of London brand for Target. I have their rain boots, for when I move to London next fall, and I ADORE them!


****LONDON! In 4.5 months!!!! Need I say more.****
I don't think so, and I don't have the time to! So enjoy!

PS: Check THIS LINK out. I love this woman and all she taught me. I mentioned her before in my blog here but this article, combining the gospel and Disney made me smile!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Productivity

I love productive days. They are the best. Ok, maybe lazy days are the best but productive days are a close second. It's sleep that really makes lazy ones pull ahead... and staying in PJ's. I just love that feeling... ah... Anyways, I have no time for lazy days right now because I'm too busy having productive ones.
Take today for example.
I woke up while the air was still crisp. I went to the gym. For an hour.
(oohs and awes of amazement)
I not only filled my car up with gas and drove through the car wash but stopped at the Cougar was and vacuumed my car out!
(even more amazement... trust me it's been quite awhile)
I proceeded to come home, shower, eat a healthy (ish-I'm not super woman here) lunch, and go to the post office where I applied for my passport. London is becoming more real everyday!!!
I came home, and you know what I did... homework. That's not even due till next week!
I even helped the roommates make an extra credit movie, and enjoyed a lovely dinner.
All before heading to the Ward Activities Committee meeting of course.
You know what else I did-blogged. Look at me. Look at today. Look at my productivity.
And that my friends is why I blog. To remember days like today, because they sure don't happen enough :)

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

This Post Does Not Do the Trip Justice...

D ad and Mom, it was fun being with them when they had the time. Tower of Terror is always more fun with Dad. And dinner is always more fun with Mom, except for the people she accidentally throws ice at... sometimes she forgets that when your on balcony seating, there are people below you. It's ok Mom. It happens to... some people. Thanks so much for letting us come out and play!!!
I , as in me. I loved this trip. I loved riding Tower of Terror multiple times, I loved single rider lines, I loved beating Abbie in Midway Mania, I loved the fireworks, I loved the company. I loved it, all of it!

S ephora-in Downtown Disney. Every time the London girls go to Sephora we always use the sample nail polish to paint each nail a different color. It's tradition and us London girls love our traditions. Don't mess.
N ever being too old to be a kid. We were looking at the princess dress ups wishing they came in our size, waiting in line to take a picture with Lightning McQueen and Mator, riding the Peter Pan ride, racing to get a pink tea cup, dancing down the street, being pirates, and singing at the top of our lungs. And you know what? That is perfectly acceptable in Disneyland. And it feels great to feel perfectly acceptable to be yourself!!

E ating... Need I say more? For Dad it was the fruit salad and hot chocolate, for mom the cream cheese filled pretzel, for Megan the bengets and Volcano Birthday dessert, for me-as always... the chocolate covered bananas. And Abbie? Well she loved the Fruit Loops at our continental breakfast, and the chocolate covered pretzels! Yum!

Y AY!!!! Yay for not ever waiting more then 45 minutes for a ride, Yay for good weather, yay for good food, Yay for good performances, Yay for family, Yay for fireworks, Yay for pictures, Yay for chocolate covered bananas and Yay for a break!
L aughter, and lots of it. Especially at Megan's birthday dinner at Rain forest Cafe. Now, for those of you that know me, you realize then when I'm laughing, really, legit, complete happiness laughing it is... well.. unique. Beautiful? possibly. Loud? always. Unique? definitely. However, once you hear all the London ladies laugh it becomes less unique-it is a trait passed through the gene pool. And when we're all together laughing to our hearts content, it is a thing of beauty. And, well... quite a scene.

A ccidents... Abbie accidentally forgot to put on sunscreen the last day. And I, accidentally fell out of the train at Thunder Mountain Railroad while trying to exit landing completely on the one elbow. Luckily, there is no vital damage-just a bruise the size of my face and some large swelling. I wish I could be accident prone-at least in Disneyland.. but it is not so. Oh well! It didn't stop us from having fun!
N on-stop. We went non-stop. We hardly slept, and we were as the energizer bunny all week long. I'm so proud of us, do you know that even though I was in Disneyland it was still hard to wake up.... Non-stop fun though!
D eparture. Always bittersweet. Sweet, because by this time we could not keep our eyes open any more and bitter because, we love it so much. I will return soon though...