Friday, April 30, 2010

This Message is Brought to You By Frogurt

Once upon a time there was a girl...

She was pretty enough, but never really saw that or believed it. (Two years later she would envy her earlier weight and long to fit into those jeans...beside the point though) Not a weekend night passed without some social event or party. She considered many people to be her friends and the most dear she was fiercely loyal to, doing whatever it took to make them happy. She flitted between boys, never leaving herself too much time in between each one-because obviously if no one liked her something must be wrong with her. She believed if a friend had an innocent crush on her boyfriend it was the end of the world and her protective/jealous side resulted in deeply damaged friendships. She was often self-centered, and didn't even remember the name the boy who persistently asked her out. She cared deeply about how others perceived her-and will always remember the feeling of finding one of her SBO posters with a picture of her spit upon and the pain of people believing false rumors about her. She loved her family, and she strived to make them proud through her accomplishments and good grades. More then she wanted to make them proud however, she felt an intense desire to measure up to this bar in her mind that marked all that she should be-and in her eyes she rarely did. She was happy though. And very blessed.

Now she looks like this...
Sure, shes put on a few pounds and learned to embrace the curls but you can see the resemblance right? Well sometimes I hardly can. It's crazy how much this girl has grown up and changed. Now she can't even find a picture of just her to show-every picture she has from the last year is full of friends and family, the important things. She often spends her weekend nights just chatting with her friends, to whom she is still fiercely loyal and loves enough to do anything she can for them. She averages about 2 dates a semester-no more flitting for her. And she is fine with that. She took the time to examine why she flitted and found her deepest insecurities to be the cause. She learned to overcome some, and is still working on the others-a work in progress. She still cares how people perceive her to a degree but more then that she strives to do what makes her happy, and what the Lord desires of her. The rest, she has learned doesn't really matter. She now loves her family even more. Her sisters have become her greatest friends, and her parents her dearest supporters and best source of knowledge. Through painful loss and ache she learned how precious life is, and how important the eternal nature of family relationships really is. Her family is what matters the most and she still tries to make them proud through her grades but more so through becoming a more mature, self-reliant, righteous woman; through progression. Now, she is happy but more than that she is joyful.
Happy is a now and me feeling, while joy is a us and forever feeling. Shes learning to distinguish.
She has important goals and plans for achieving them. She is very, very far from perfect and sometimes she feels there is no hope for her glaring flaws, but she puts her best effort into progression, and becoming who she desires to be.
It is beautiful-progression. And through it this girl will continue to grow. And find joy.
Stace-thanks for Frogurt and our deep conversation. I'm proud of us, for our progression and growing up. Look how far we've come! love ya


Mandy said...

I love the "new" blog look. i love you too. I have watched you grow up and am amazed at the young women that you have become. I love you and your sprirt!

robyne said...

You have brought and continue to bring such JOY into my life! It is exciting to see your life journey and to be a part of it! I Love you!!

Stacie said...

you bet! let's do it again soon!