Home

I'm sitting on my bed in a pensive mood with my writing play list going. It is time to put these thoughts into words. Time to explain what I'm feeling.

Coming home is a unique experience. It is weird to bring boxes in and claim my space again. This has always been my home, I was just lucky enough to have two homes for awhile. Now I'm back to just the one, the real one, and that is an adjustment.

The other home, the temporary one, was MY home. I recognize and am grateful that it was also home to 5 others who I love dearly, but I spoke of it as mine, saw it as my place. It represented me being on my own. It all had to do with the selfish nature of a college student. I left it when I wanted, I returned to it when I desired; I cleaned it, , I used it as I wanted to, I paid the rent, I called it mine. There are a lot of I's in that explanation, as there should be. College is a selfish time, but not necessarily in a bad way. One should still serve those around them, and the Lord but this times main focus is on one's own progression, education, and becoming. This is the brief time period between childhood and the next step-when the I becomes a we. This is the time period I live in, and perhaps thats why I think so much of that home in terms of me.

This home, my always home, is OUR home. It is not just home to me but also to my four favorite people. We each have our own way of handling situations, accomplishing tasks, and living. These dynamics are always evolving as we individually progress and change. My coming home has changed the dynamics of this home, I recognize that fact. It must be hard for them to have the dynamics they were used to and comfortable with change so suddenly. Just as it is hard for me to have the dynamics of my life do the same. So, it is hard, but good-most good things are hard after all. I'm loving being home, in this "average house with above average amounts of love and laughter". In this place where I am free to be myself without inhibition or worry, where I am surrounded by love and those who believe in me, I am most happy. I hope to provide that for my family too. I hope having me home is just as enjoyable for them.

It just takes some adjusting. So be patient with me please, and I'll try to show you as much love as you constantly extend to me.

On a side note, I'd just like to say how much I love home. Lately I've been focused on the materialistic aspects of our house, and not the home. How different these two things are! So, from here on out I'll try to improve the house as I can, but I will try to add to the home in all that I do. I'm so proud of the home we have, and the house it resides in.